How to communicate when things get tight?

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In part 1 of my Martian series, I’ve focused on responding to stressful situations when we are alone. However, many times we are not alone but surrounded by people who can unknowingly make a stressful situation worse. The only tool we have to deal with this properly is good-enough communication. This is another thing we can learn from The Martian (again: the book, not the movie).

If you haven’t had the chance to read it yet here is a short refresher: it’s a sci-fi story on a group of astronauts doing some Mars researching. They got into an accident and…

It’s ok to dream big.

Person holding a compas to find the way.
Person holding a compas to find the way.
Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

Focus is key to constructive and efficient work and study. But it also helps you appreciate more your free time, improves the quality of your rest, and the ability to be truly present in relationships.

Stress and many other uncomfortable emotional states can be greatly impacted with improved ability to focus.

First ofcourse you need to understand what focus actually is. Understanding is the single most important thing that will get you to actually keep the focus. …

Part 1: Finding peace in confined spaces.

Happy couple kissing in tiny yellow room.
Happy couple kissing in tiny yellow room.
Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash

Being confined in small spaces due to an ongoing pandemic is no one’s idea of a good time. (Yup I can hear some gamers’ and introverts’ objectives, but still, as being an introvert myself I do believe having a choice not to go outside for whatever reason still beats not having one.) The limitations we live with impact on our feelings and overall well-being.

It is quite important how we experience such stressful situations. At the moment, we are mostly locked in our homes, which are bigger or smaller with more or fewer opportunities to move around them and —…

When “think about it really hard” just doesn’t cut it.

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All you need is the right mindset!

If you’re anything like me (a bit on the sceptical side with a taste for overthinking) you are going to have problems with that because all the rationalizations, fears and doubts are gonna kick in and hold you back from the very thing you wish for.

Send me a wink if this sounds like you:

You are eager to learn, work on yourself or create a new (art, buisiness, hobby… insert accordingly) project.

First you get all excited and you go all in…

It’s not all in your head. But that doesn’t mean you should just give in to your unconstructive thought patterns.

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Anxiety levels are going through the roof these days and as a clinical psychotherapist, I do a special check up on that with my clients. One of them was working with me for a while and she first came to my clinic because of panic attacks. With the world in crisis, one would expect she’d be overwhelmed. But we laughed through most of our last session because she was doing great. She called herself an expert on handling anxiety and bow she is advising her worried friends over the phone instead of another way around.

It warms my heart listening…

Learn how to stop overthinking and worrying about everything — particularly the things you can’t control — these strategies really work.

How to stop overthinking everything you do.
How to stop overthinking everything you do.
Photo by on Unsplash

Overthinkers tend to think their biggest problem is thinking too much. In their mind their repeat some situations over and over again. They worry about outcomes of some actions and they struggle hard to find an underlying meaning to things that usually don’t have one.

One of the most common question I get from my client in my psychoterapeutic practice is how to stop thinking about something or someone. Their problem is not that they don’t know overthinking is unproductive and even harmful for their mental health, but that they don’t know how to stop.

There is a bunch of…

The question shouldn’t be how much more can I take.

Who is psychotherapy for?
Who is psychotherapy for?
Photo by Natasha Brazil on Unsplash

There is a lot of assumptions going around about what psychotherapy is and especially, who is it for. People often think it’s connected to mental illness which they somehow associate with something out of a Flight over a cuckoo’s nest.

Psychotherapy is addressing individuals thinking processes when that individual has some sort of a problem. Some decide to visit a therapist only when they are heavily burned out or severely depressed. Others decide prevention is better than curing stuff when they’ ve been bad for too long and address the slight problems heads on. …

Psychological changes don’t happen over night. But you already knew that.

How long does a psychotherapy last?
How long does a psychotherapy last?
Photo: Rachel Mart on Unsplash.

That’s something I get a lot from my patients. It’s a normal question considering conditions. You don’t feel ok in some or more parts of your life. You try to get it better by adjusting your mental image of the world. You go to therapist to make it ok. How long will it take?

Here is the beginning of a hard answer: It took you 23, 54, 33 years or whatever your age is to practice mental patterns. Those same patterns that cause you trouble are sadly those you are the biggest expert in. …

Awareness and insight are not the same. Reaching the other perspective is crucial with overthinking issues.

Overthinking doesn’t solve problems.
Overthinking doesn’t solve problems.
Photo from Canva.

Overthinking is a beautiful exhibition of human brain capacity. It proofs what an amazing thing our mind is.

When our mind is faced with a problem it goes into a solution search mode.
If you’re an overthinker, search mode means you’re thoughts are in really high gear. This results in numerous (probably complicated) solutions.

But none of them feels exactly right.

This is the part where your mind acts out.

It’s hyped on the information. Your problem is not that you don’t know anything. E.g. …

When “fake it till you make it” tactics fail you.

Impostor syndrome is a vicious creature. You’ve likely known it for a long time. It goes hand in hand with depression, anxiety, weak self-esteem, and such.

It sneaks on you when you think you are faking something and judging it at the same time. It is well known to trigger writers’ block and doesn’t allow you to function.

This article will try to address it, follow it to its origins, and… well, it won’t tell you what the quick tricks to get read of it are. …

Nika Nikolic

Psychotherapist, specializing in online psyhotherapy for overthinkers.

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